Joe Schrank is a social worker, journalist, and recovery advocate who co-founded TheFix.com back when nobody was quite sure the internet needed opinions about addiction — turns out it did. He’s been sober for decades, which he does not consider a virtue but a necessity.
He has two boys who are functional adults and have never seen him drink. He battles depressive episodes and wins most days. He has a consistent, unblemished record of failing to keep his promise of “no more dogs, no more tattoos.”
Q. If you are in recovery, what was your drug(s) of choice and when is your sobriety date?
A. Alcohol. I think I’m an anachronism. I should have been in a different era. At USC, there was all kinds of drug use but I was mostly interested in scotch and isolation, like some kind of Hemingway novel.
Q. Is there anything special in your sobriety toolkit that helps keep you sober?
A. Movement. I’m very dedicated to working out. It’s a serious part of my maintenance level. Credit where credit is due, I’m very dedicated to it. I’m also very dedicated to pizza to counter all the workouts.
Q. Do you think addiction is an illness, disease, a choice, or a wicked twist of fate?
A. I think addiction is a very complex malady that has characteristics of many things. Near as I can tell, there’s an incredibly strong genetic component, so disease works in my mind. I think there is a resistance to that because people misinterpret that to mean we aren’t responsible for our behavior.
Q. Where are you from and where do you reside now?
A. I’m from California. Currently I live in in Atlanta.
Q. What is one word you would use to describe yourself?
A. Blunt.
Q. Describe how you came to your “rock bottom” point.
A. I wish I had some kind of romantic rock bottom story. I don’t. I was depressed, lost, directionless and when I had a psych eval they wanted to put me on antidepressants. Then the said “oh. You can’t drink on this stuff”. Well, if I wasn’t depressed before, now you want my beers? I was shocked at how hard it was to steer clear of alcohol and it became clear I couldn’t do it without help. No crashed cars. No big stories but a very important one. Pouring alcohol on depression is a plan for early death, not for developing a life you want to live.
Q. If you ever retire, would you prefer to live by the ocean, lake, river, mountaintop, desert, or penthouse?
A. Nature confuses me. I thought we invented things to get away from it. A penthouse? I’d be so out of place. I’d like to live in Italy in a right sized flat that allowed me to live la dolce vita. That’s my retirement if I ever retire but I don’t think I will. I hope I can do what I do from Italy.
Q. How do you measure success?
A. I measure success mostly monetarily. The more superfluous crap I can accumulate, the better. Just kidding, I think it would depend on the situation.
Q. What is your biggest pet peeve?
A. Passwords. Everything requires one and then they often say, “oh, no, that’s not the password” then you change the password and they say, “you have used that password.” Insurance companies too, just in general, nothing works but the check cashing department and I have found myself on the phone for hours trying to give them money. No thanks.
Q. If you had an extra million dollars, which charity would you donate it to?
A. Half to St. Francis Xavier high school in NYC and half to Georgetown scholar program which funds kids who would never be able to get to Georgetown without that program.
Q. If you could give advice to your younger self what would it be?
A. Take a breath sporto, not everyone’s starting line is the same.
Q. Who made you feel seen growing up?
A. My best friend’s parents were absolutely critical. His mother was from a home with alcoholism and spotted me a mile away. She had a deep understanding and was really empathic.
Q. Which living person do you most admire?
A. Barack Obama. What a story.
Q. What major event or realization shaped who you are?
A. 9/11. It was just horrible. The NYC zeitgeist was trauma for a really long time. It really made me think about what was really important.
Q. What sound or sounds do you most remember from your childhood?
A. Is this like Barbara’s Walter’s asking what kind of tree you would be? Let’s see, I was a kid in the 70s so I guess I remember hearing water from the hose that tasted like the hose and the sound of neglect?
Q. What do you love most about living sober?
A. The authenticity. I love that there isn’t a chemical distortion. You really are left with you and your behavior “wait, what? You believed me? There’s something wrong with you because I was drunk” it’s an option if you don’t get drunk.
Q. Which part of your treatment and recovery do you feel was the most interesting or unexpected?
A. I was shocked when they said “well, that all typically alcoholic’ at intake. I thought they were going to say “you’re in the wrong place” I was also shocked at how hard it was. I was very cavalier “fine, fine, if you’ll shut up, I won’t drink”. Was my attitude. I really didn’t know.
Q. What’s your concept of a Higher Power?
A. I know a lot of people had a very negative experience being Catholic. I don’t question their experience nor do I doubt their reporting, but it wasn’t mine. To me, they were concerned people who taught algebra and coached basketball. The Jesuits make sense to me. Men for others. Work is for the greater glory of God. There’s an obligation to maximize God given talents. So, I think my concept is pretty traditional. When people say, “it can be the doorknob,” that doesn’t do much for me. I’m good with being catholic.
Q. What is your Astrological sign?
A. Aries.
Q. Who is your favorite celebrity in recovery?
A. I don’t think I have one. I feel like we overvalue lived experience and celebrities. It’s part of the downside of not having American royals, we turn our cultural leadership over to people like the Kardashians. I guess I would say Bradley Coooer. He went to Georgetown.
Q. What book(s) have you read more than once?
A. To Kill a Mockingbird. Tales of a Fourth Grade Nothing. Green Eggs and Ham. For Whom the Bell Tolls. The Dubliners.
Q. What books are you reading now?
A. I have become a cliche. Mostly I read historical fiction or WWII history.
Q. If you were giving a dinner party for your 3 favorite authors, living or dead, who would they be? (You can choose a 4th if you think one might be too drunk or stoned to attend.)
A. Dorthy Parker. So funny. Hemingway. I mean, let’s hear it. William Faulkner.
Q. Which film have you watched the most?
A. There are a few. Moonstruck. I’ll never get tired of when they wake up the mother and she says, “who’s dead?” Goodfellas. The soundtrack alone. Bad News bears. Pride of the Yankees. “I thank God for making me a Yankee.”
Q. Who is your favorite film director?
A. By far, Fellini. There is YouTube video of him giving the entire crew pasta after a day of work. The movies are just genius.
Q. What book would you most like to see turned into a movie or TV show that hasn’t already been adapted?
A. A heartbreaking work of staggering genius. I think it’s a great story and it’s so Gen X. We need to see ourselves.
Q. Are you binge watching any TV series?
A. So I have a weird proclivity for ’70s TV. The Love Boat is so campy and has the Dallas Cowboys Cheerleaders. Also, Flipper. Who wouldn’t want that as a kid? They had boats and a dolphin. Their dad was effective but not scary. I seem to watch an inordinate amount of WWII documentaries.
Q. What is your favorite App?
A. My favorite app will be the app to remove apps. I’m sick of apps. I had to get a new dryer and there’s an app. I just want it to dry. I don’t need to chat with it.
Q. Who is your favorite performer, living or dead?
A. Tough to name one. James Brown maybe. Have you seen him? It’s just nothing that will ever be seen again.
Q. Who are your heroes in real life?
A. Bobby Kennedy. Not his weird son. And before it all came out about Delores Huerta, Caesar Chavez.
Q. What are some of the most memorable songs in your life?
A. Just Like Honey. The Jesus and Mary chain. How a Resurrection Really Feels. The Hold Steady. Normal American Kid. Wilco.
Q. What is your favorite city?
A. NYC. Is there another city? I also love London.
Q. What is your favorite cuisine?
A. Italian. Not red sauce Italian American. Like Italy.
Q. What is the best concert/performance/play you’ve ever attended?
A. Hands down, Tom Waits. My brother in law took me to the filming of story tells when VH1 did that show. Also saw him at the beacon in NYC.
Q. What are five things you always carry with you (not including cell phone, keys, wallet, or lipstick)?
A. I try not to carry things. In general, I don’t like things. There’s no way I walk around with five things.
Q. What is the best and or worse piece of advice someone has given you?
A. The worst was “you should get married”. The best “if this isn’t better after three years, you should kill yourself” which is just Brooklyn for “this too shall pass”.
Q. What is the best piece of advice you’ve given someone else?
A. “Save room for cannoli”
Q. What is your most treasured possession?
A. I don’t know. I feel like I’d just rather be Cain from Kung Fu and walk the earth.
Q. What do you value most in a friendship?
A. Loyalty, humor. Harder to find than you’d think.
Q. What do you consider your greatest achievement?
A. By far, raising two boys who have never seen me drink is my greatest achievement. The drunk dad is such a nightmare, and I made mistakes to be sure but not that one.
Q. What is your favorite compliment to receive, and why?
A. A woman at Soul Cycle asked if I was a model. She said, “well, you know, for big and tall catalogues.” I said, “um, no, I’m not a model”. Then she said, “well you could be for the big and tall catalogues … of course you’d have to lose some weight”. It just made me laugh “wow you’re handsome enough to model clothes for fat guys, well, if you weren’t so fat”. Oh, and kids ask me if I am Jim Hopper, the cop from stranger things. They never ask if I am the actor. They ask if I’m the fat cop he plays on TV.
Q. What is your biggest fear?
A. Illness. I’m not good with it. I’m really lucky to be healthy but I recently had an eye infection and had to put some goo in my eye and drops and I thought I was being tortured. What if I get something really bad? I get we aren’t mortal so sooner or later, that scares me
Q. Where do you go when you’re seeking solitude?
A. I’m divorced. I live alone. I have weird hobbies like campy ’70s melodrama and war documentaries. My life is solitude.
Q. If you could wake up tomorrow having gained any one quality or ability, what would it be?
A. Ability to understand women. I still don’t really get it, but I’d like to.
Q. What would constitute a “perfect” day for you?
A. String coffee, a great work out, no apps, NYC taxis that say “all free for Joe day” watching baseball and seeing a kid who has been struggling get a hit.
Q. What is your biggest regret?
A. Being too intimidated to kiss a specific girl goodnight at the right moment. I still check out her Facebook page now and then just to see if maybe her husband died.
Q. What is the greatest risk you’ve ever taken?
A. Getting married.
Q. Which living person do you most despise?
A. So many. Pam Bondi made me want to puke. Nancy Mace is vile. Claims she supports survivors of rape but lies and works to have a rapist be the most powerful man in the world. I guess Donald a Trump is the one I despise the most. He’s a bike human. I hope he drops dead on national TV. I will not rise above anything, I’ll dance on the grave, and I’d go to his funeral with a hooker in a red dress.
Q. What is something you’ve learned about yourself in the last six months?
A. I think the edges have been sanded down in my 50s. The angles aren’t so sharp anymore and I’m really glad.
Q. What is something you are currently curious about?
A. I am curious to know how red states think they should dictate American life when they are lazy, racist, and welfare dependent.
Q. What do you love most about yourself?
A. I love that I’m on the side of the kid, the dog, or the alcoholic. I’m comfortable with the misfits. I like them.
Q. What is your greatest extravagance?
A. Groceries. Processed food grosses me out. I hate it. I’ll pay triple for the right tomato or olive oil.
Q. When did you realize you were a grown-up?
A. I’ll let you know when that happens.
Q. How important are your pets to you?
A. Critical. I often say lock your girlfriend (not really, don’t do this) and your dog in the trunk of the car and then let them out a see who is happy to see you. Love my dog.
Q. Which words or phrases do you most overuse?
A. I work with a lot of young men who are baseball players so I way overuse “that kid wouldn’t know his ass from third base.”
